Penis Labor

I, penis request a pay raise due to the following
1. I do physical labor
2.I work at great depths
3.I plundge head first into everything i do
4.I work weekends & holidays
5.I work in damp environments
6.I work in dark areas with poor ventilation
7. I work in high temperatures
8. My work exposes me to disease. Dear penis, your requests has been denied for the following reasons
1. U dont work 8 hours straight
2. U work in short spurts & fall asleep after each brief work period 3. U dont stay in your designated area, and r frequently found in other locations.
4.U dont take initiative & must be stimulated 2 start working
5. U leave your work place messy at the end of your shift.
6.U are unable 2 work over time or double shifts.
7.U sometimes leave your designated work area before completing the assigned task.
8. U have costantly been seen entering and exiting the work place with 2 suspicious bags.